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Joke of the Day

"My favorite machine in the gym is the water fountain."

"Why did the creator of 9gag call it that? Because that was how many dicks he could fit in his mouth before he gagged."

"9: Have you seen my harmonica? [flashback to me smashing it with a hammer] me: Did you look under your bed?"

"One obtuse angle says to the other, ""Oh man it's hot in here!"" The other one replies, ""Yeah, it's over 90 degrees!"""

"With my 4 year old granddaughter: What's a cat's favorite pasta? Mousearoni"

"Two native-american boys are walking through a forest One spots a bug on the ground, points to it and says to the other, ""ew, squash it!"" The other says, ""no, i'm pretty sure it's a bug."""

"I actually feel bad for Justin Bieber. No girl should have to take a picture without her makeup on"

"Two blondes are heading to Disney World, on their way there, they see a sign that says ""Disney World Left""... ... They quickly head left and have a great vacation at Disney World."

"What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? Decaffeinated! Bah dum dum...ting"

"Never buy the first round cause that's when people care what they're drinking!"