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Joke of the Day

"Harambe went to a bar Bartender: What can I get you today? Harambe: May I get a martini? Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice? Me: Justice for Harambe."

"Thinking about going as a prostitute for Halloween, but confused about at what point turning a trick becomes a treat."

"The awkward moment when you've already said ""what?"" three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree"

"Born Too Late To Explore The Earth, Born too early to explore the galaxy, Born at just the right time to have sex with virtual reality anime chicks."

"What do army ants have in common with masturbating dolphins? Both come in waves..."

"What do the English use to blow up their enemies? Tea N' Tea."

"What's the most scandalous of the wonders of the ancient world? The Colossus of Scrotes."

"I told my hairdresser to just take a little bit off the top... It makes me more relaxed when I can see her breasts."

"How did Mitt Romney get a 14% tax rate? He claimed 47% of America as dependents."

"I hate it when I think I'm buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they're just REGULAR donuts."