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Joke of the Day

"What was the preferred magazine of the bear that hung out behind the library? Digest Readers."

"Why do watermelons have water in Them? Because they are planted in the spring!"

"(OC) Where did the frog say his family came from? ""They are German and a tad-Polish"""

"Gandalf: It is in men that we must place our hope Elrond: Have you seen their tweets"

"[Morning after wedding] *dead husband lies on bed* PRAYING MANTIS: [On phone] Mom *sobs* it happened again MOM: Ok hurry up and eat his body"

"Mom: I think I'm gonna make a twitter Me: Mom it costs like $500 a year... Mom: That's expensive I'll stick with Facebook Me: Aww too bad"

"My friend cooked up some otter the other day! It was otterly delicious."

"Did you hear about the pizza cook who died in the pizza oven explosion? They had to peel him off the ceiling."

"I want anarchy Because my keyboard is missing one."

"Never play musical chairs against a person in a wheelchair. They will always beat you."