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Joke of the Day

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'm gonna give these two a lift."

"Why didn't anyone like the bread store owner? He was pretty loafsome"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By broom ... JK, rolling"

"If I was a real superhero I'd be Constipation Man. And stop shit from happening."

"Me: I'll take another drink. Bartender: Would you like for me to call you a cab sir? Me: No it's cool he's driving * points at chair*"

"Never go to a place that has burgers, sushi, chicken wings and donuts on one menu. Never."

"Two elephants and a snake jumped off a cliff... Boom Boom Tsss"

"I'm one more weekend on the couch away from being a throw pillow."

"What's a redditors favorite Imagine Dragons song GOLD!"

"I read a magazine article about a population increase in Hawaii. The author was Commonawannalaya."