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Joke of the Day

"How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes."

"There's a crying baby on my bus and I'm all ""shut up baby, you're not the one going to work."""

"Today somebody told me about a bear that climbs a mountain... ...But the story goes downhill from there."

"Hangover status: playing duct, duct, tape with the kids."

"You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you want to skydive twice."

"I've got an old condom joke I wanted to share on Reddit with you guys... ...but it's already been used once."

"Necrophilia joke How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac? He's always HARD at work."

"What did 0 say to 8? hey, nice belt!"

"Why should't old people eat healthy? They need all the preservatives they can get."

"The number of ""followers"" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12."