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Joke of the Day

"Average Guy: [writes her a song] Girl: ""Yeah, whatever."" Hot Guy: ""Sup."" Girl: ""Oh my god, you're so creative!"""

"Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree."

"Why cant Stephen Hawking put on a comedy show? Because he cant do stand-up"

"I used to be addicted... to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around (x-post from /r/jokes)"

"What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing? The cast-a-net."

"A Maid Knocks On Her Master's Door Her master is busy talking on the phone She asks, ""Sir would you like some juice?"" He Replies ""Give Me A Minute Maid"""

"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you ..I'd start thinking about you."

"who discovered Snickers??? I'm on the Paleo diet, except I'm the caveman who discovered Snickers."

"What's worse than eating out your grandmother? Banging your head on the coffin lid."

"Making my kids homemade blueberry muffins. *opens package* *adds water*"