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Joke of the Day

"You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you."

"mad gf How do you know when your girlfriend is mad at you? She leaves the string in the Bloody Mary"

"TIFU by sending my nudes to everyone in my address book Cost me a fortune in stamps"

"If you see someone doing a crossword puzzle Whisper in their ear, 7 up is lemonade."

"2,000 calories of junk food costs just $3.52 a day. 2,000 calories of dense nutritional foods costs $36.32 a day. No wonder people are fat."

"You should never trust a molecule They make up everything."

"Dwarf Shortage I know, it's a short joke"

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it. (credit to Tasteless)"

"For Halloween, our daughter is dressing up as joke telling jack-o'-lantern. She's our little pun-kin."

"Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing? Because they've got the same color trunks."