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Joke of the Day

"My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors."

"What Happened to the Man who Threw a Flaming Bag of Poo? He got turd degree burns."

"I caught two teens smoking pot behind my office. Ten minutes later, my boss caught two teens and myself smoking pot behind my office."

"Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs...""Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?"""

"What happens on Santa's lap......stays on Santa's lap."

"""Want to parachute?"" ""No thanks, I'd rather not maybe die while strapped to a guy I met twenty minutes ago."""

"Elephant and a naked man An elephant walks up to a man who was not wearing clothes and asked, ""How do you breathe out of that thing??"""

"Q: Mom why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons? A: I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment dear."

"I had a friend from Ukraine. Now he's from Russia."

"Entered a blindfolded masturbation contest the other day... No idea where I came"