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Joke of the Day

"NSFW What's the difference between sex and lunch? Depends on where you put the cucumber. Worked in a fruit and veg shop, guy stopped me packing cucumbers to tell me that."

"Whats so good about german cars? They get from Berlin to Warsaw in one tank"

"[Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?"

"If girls with big boobs work at Hooters Does that mean girls with one leg work at IHOP?"

"A Recent Study Found That... ...Christian women tend to become atheists after marriage. I don't find that surprising. After marriage, a woman does lose faith in a man's ability to come a second time."

"Q: What do you call a prostitute's children? A: Brothel sprouts."

"*walks into son's room to find a recording of him snoring* Dear God *dials 911* Help, a wizard turned my son into a 90's cassette player"

"I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they'll open up a small demolition business together."

"I've been hitting ""remind me later"" for about the last 4 years on Adobe."

"WHY HAS THE COST OF BALLOONS INCREASED OVER THE LAST 50 YEARS?? INFLATION!"