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Joke of the Day

"[Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?"

Next Joke
 
"Ppl freakin cuz its sharks in the ocean. News flash: that's where they live! If u see them at Chipotle, then we have a problem"
"I asked a magician, ""Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?"" ""No, but I can pull a hare out of my ass"" - (More effective told out loud) :P"
"*slams fists on coffee table* WHAT WAS SCAR FROM LION KINGS NAME BEFORE HE GOT THE SCAR"
"Why did the fish's car break down? It needed a tuna-up."
"What do you call a door with no legs? A door."
"Bloody Mary used to be Virgin Mary."
"What do you call glass cookware from Jamaica? Pyrex of the Caribbean"
"women sure love never chilling the fuck out"
"Why should you never have oral sex? It really sucks."