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Joke of the Day

"Fact: It is against league rules for an NFL player to own a pet duck. It's considered a personal fowl."

"Instead of dropping Charlie Sheen, shouldn't Hanes keep him on to promote their Wife-beater Tees?"

"I get home and realize where my house stood a shark now sits dressed as a house with its mouth open Shark:[nervously makes house noises]"

"my girlfriends said if this gets 1000 up votes My girlfriend said if this gets 1000 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me."

"I was in Nigeria browsing Tinder the other day It said ""There are no available girls in your area."" (Thanks Boko Haram)"

"What did Hillary Clinton say when she got to the restaurant? ""Can I have a private server?"""

"My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She was livid: ""What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"""

"A guy walks up to a girl in Starbucks Hey girl, how would you like to be my skinny vanilla latte? go light on the cream though, that's for later."

"What did the hacker do when the police came for him? He ransomware."

"Why do programmers produce more garbage than others ? Because they (some of them) don't have a garbage collector."