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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She was livid: ""What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"""

"How do you drowned a hipster? Throw them in the mainstream. Edit: spelling because I'm 5"

"pirate jokes eh? How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? a buccaneer"

"""No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying."""

"Never treat a lady like an object It hates that"

"Be like Bro This is Bro. Bro gets F'e in all Subject, Bro Knows F means Fantastic or Fabulous. Bro think he's the best student in the world, Bro is happy with his gread, Be like Bro"

"I've been jogging for 6 minutes & there are, literally, 9 vultures circling above me."

"What's a good treatment for insomnia? Bill Cosby"

"Where do atheists donate their money? Non Prophet Organizations"

"Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom."