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Joke of the Day

"dorothy: WET TSHIRT CONTEST! wicked witch: NOOOOOOOOO! tin man: worst spring break ever."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is"

"I'm tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment I did it once and killed a cyclist."

"What's black, cheap, and not worth a damn? A cup of decaf"

"Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients."

"I only shave half my face in case that I get arrested so that they will have two different side profile pictures."

"How does a hamster propose to his girlfriend? With a hamst-ring! I'm sorry."

"A boy asked his rich uncle for a cowboy outfit for his birthday.So the uncle bought him a used car dealership."

"How to lose 12 lbs in 7 agonizing seconds: Step 1: Make sure the wood chipper is all gassed up."

"What did Abraham Lincoln say after a two week drunk? I freed what?"