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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door. ""Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"""

"Why is it important to have plenty of help when changing a light bulb? Many hands make light work."

"Were all addicted to something whats your addiction"

"Are you going to the BBQ? The one where I out my meat on your grill!"

"Why is Paul Walker and Rihannas new song the same? They both went up in flames."

"Baby, tonight let's put the kids to bed, pour some wine, turn the lights down low & argue over whose turn it is to move the Elf on the Shelf"

"Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He had loco motives."

"It's too tight Girl: It's too tight! Boy: Don't worry, I'll do it slowly Girl: Push it in! Boy: Ah, I can't... Girl: It's painful... Boy: Forget it. I'll just buy a new wedding ring"

"Did you hear the AIDS joke? You haven't? Never mind, I don't want to spread it."

"As a child I wanted to be a personal trainer but I ended up as a politician. At least I still convince absolute idiots that change is being made."