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Joke of the Day

"Are you going to the BBQ? The one where I out my meat on your grill!"

"A gun and a bullet get into a heated argument Police still don't know who fired the first shot"

"Today is full of possibilities and I have a strong feeling none of them are mine."

"Things I suck at:1. Being attractive.2. Being normal.3. Relationships.4. Texting back.5. Math.6. Life."

"I admitted to my crush that I have feelings for her, but she told me she's only attracted to assholes Which is awesome, because now she won't leave mine alone!"

"What side of the chicken has the most feathers? The Outside!"

"*trying to awkwardly start a conversation with my barber* I ALSO like scissors."

"A Jewish kid asks his father for 5 bucks His dad replies, ""4 dollars? What would you need 3 dollars for??"""

"I like my men like I like my coffee: encouraging my bowel movements"

"What did one atom say to the other? ""I lost an electron..."" The other atom asks ""Are you sure?"" First atom replies, ""I'm positive!"""