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Joke of the Day
"I haven't seen David Luiz this upset since Bart and Lisa got him sent to prison."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the man who was sexually attracted to cars? He had an auto-erotic affixation."
"When I'm on phone with tech support or costumer service, I say the whitest shit. ""Sure thing"" - ""You bet"" - ""Correct"" - ""Tell me about it"""
"what do you call a lesbian in a ford windstar filled with penises? dick van dyke"
"Driving a Prius shows women that you are socially responsible, environmentally conscious, and will be completely unable to make them cum."
"if a picture's worth a thousand words, the people posting photos on twitter are going over by 860 characters"
"Two things are expected on reddit. To be corrected and to find out who's racist"
"My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the New York City Zoo."
"How can I know hundreds of digits of pi But not know the digits of your phone number?"
"My Dad told me ""always fight fire with fire""... And that's why he's no longer a fireman."