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Joke of the Day

"Driving a Prius shows women that you are socially responsible, environmentally conscious, and will be completely unable to make them cum."

"My favourite punchline is in the joke I tell blind people. They never see it coming."

"So I walked into a pub with some of the lads... Oh wait hang on I don't have a social life."

"BUILD A MAN A FIRE... BUILD A MAN A FIRE AND HE'LL BE WARM FOR A DAY SET A MAN ON FIRE, HE'LL BE WARM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE."

"Business people in the UK like their beards like they like their tea Goatee"

"Whats the difference? Between a large pizza and a black father. A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"my credit score"

"What is the proper definition of indefinitely? When your balls are slapping her butthole you know you are in definitely."

"Did you hear about the man who proposed to his long-distance girlfriend? It was a ranged marriage."

"What did the Olympic size swimming pool say to the kiddie pool? I can't be your friend anymore you're just too shallow!"