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Joke of the Day
"My Dad told me ""always fight fire with fire""... And that's why he's no longer a fireman."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the strawberry jam and grape jelly hooking up? They got marmalaid."
"the year is 2048 twerking has become a sport the seas are now made of starbucks ugg boots are required by law"
"Fuck you, little sticker on produce!"
"Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well Grandma's very deaf so I'm writing very loudly."
"*jumps out of plane* *begins reading parachute instruction manual* STEP 1: PUT ON PARACHUTE *looks up* Well hell"
"Dr: do you know why you gained weight? *Flashbacks to eating fries in the car sobbing and blasting Adele* Me: no, better run some tests"
"Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife is kidney. If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney."
"Chemistry joke thread? I'll start: I was at -273.15C one time. It was OK. What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium I'm sorry guys there really are no good chemistry jokes: all the good ones argon."
"What does Barbie say when the drought finally ends? It's raining Ken, hallelujah...."