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Joke of the Day

"Parenting a baby is like an etch-a-sketch drawing. You must be careful, but if you mess up just shake the shit out of it and make a new one."

"So I just gave birth to a butt baby [NSFW] Well, actually no, it came out in a bunch of pieces so I guess it was more of a butt abortion."

"Play The Bee Gees loudly several times a day from your home so that if you have to kill someone the sounds won't be unusual."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I put the wrong socks on this morning..."

"Your mom must study Reverse-Judo. She keeps throwing herself at bad men."

"Don't worry, people who are sick of political tweets, every horror movies needs a few ""Nah, it's nothing"" types to raise the body count."

"Who are the 3 most famous black women? 1. Oprah 2. Aunt Jamima 3. Motha Fucka"

"I got up early to watch the sunrise And then it dawned on me."

"Q1: What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A: A Dinosaucer"

"Why does NASA throw the best parties.... they make sure to planet"