111466

Joke of the Day

"""And what do your parents do?"" BABY COW: Well, my mom is basically a vending machine and my dad is hamburgers"

"The problem about movies with potential They always fall the hardest"

"What do you call someone obsessed with Japanese food? a weeafood"

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you can throw them"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth"

"An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me: 1) I don't have a car"

"I had a joke about Jonestown, But the punchline was too long."

"Take a pistol 1. Take a pistol 2. Point it to your head 3. Pull the trigger WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND"

"If you can't find the source of a quote, attribute it to Kurt Vonnegut, Einstein, Dorothy Parker, or H. L. Mencken and move on."

"What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman? Frostbite."