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Joke of the Day

"How does NASA plan a party..? They planet."

"What do Abraham Lincoln and Peyton Manning have in common? Neither can finish a play."

"They won't admit the Egypt flight crashed... ...because they're all in *da nile.*"

"Has anyone ever told you what it's like to be royally screwed? Let me fill you in."

"When pinguins fly, you are probably drowning."

"You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body."

"I regret buying that straight jacket. Thought it would look good on me but I just can't pull it off."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up!"

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman ? Snowballs"

"Why did the viper viper nose ? Because the adder adder hankerchief !"