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Joke of the Day

"""Your word is 'oujia'"" -could you use that in a seance? [spelling bee judge puts hand over the mic] I think.. I think this guy just won"

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"Let's agree that if we're both not married in ten years we'll sew our cats together to make one big SuperCat."
"A Pervert, A Con Artist and a Fascist walk into a bar... ..The Bartender Says, ""What'll it be Mr. President Trump?"""
"Wanna hear a joke about unemployed people? Nevermind, they don't work."
"Brother: What kind of sharks never eat women ? Sister: Man-eating sharks."
"Why do gingers always complain about uncomfortable shoes? Because they have no inner-soles"
"What does a networking robot say when returning from the bathroom? ""Sorry, I http"""
"When the cashier asks me ""Is that everything?"", I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her."
"[getting pulled over] Me: R u a bear cop? Bear cop: Is that a problem? Me: As long as you're not a maul cop *mauls me for bad pun*"
"Premature ejaculator seeks bubbly, blonde female with big ti...... Hang on. It dosen't matter now......!"