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Joke of the Day

"Whenever a fast food employee reads my order back to me I always say, ""did you just call me fat?"" They love that."

"Ladies If it takes you more than a hour to get ready, then you ain't as cute as you think you are"

"how did canada choose its name? They pulled letters out of a hat. C, eh N, eh D, eh"

"When I hear commercials say ""win a trip for you and six friends"" I start counting to see if I have six friends."

"They say Margaret is a raving beauty. You mean she's escaped from the funny farm?"

"DIVORCE Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, because they never get the house."

"We now have tortilla chips shaped as functional shovels to minimize calories burned when scooping junk into our mouths. Your move, diabetes"

"THERE IS A THIN LINE BETWEEN 911.. AND 9/11"

"Getting your identity stolen is a nice reminder that at least one person out there has it shittier than you & wants to trade places."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cows ! Cows who ? Cows go 'moo' not who !"