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Joke of the Day

"We now have tortilla chips shaped as functional shovels to minimize calories burned when scooping junk into our mouths. Your move, diabetes"

"What are the ""White Walkers"" doing when we don't see them in a GoT episode? Chilling."

"How do you make a baby drink? You stick it in a blender."

"I've come to accept the fact that I'm quite vain. On a vanity scale of 1-10 I'm about a 6. . . A sexy six."

"I Farted in an Apple Store I FARTED IN A APPLE STORE AND THEY GOT MAD But it's NOT MY FAULT THEY DON'T HAVE WINDOWS"

"There are so many Mexicans heartbroken about the pending wall Let's hope they get over it soon"

"Lauren's coming over. ""Lauren from work or the one who pretends to be a Dr?"" Lauren: Sorry I'm late, I removed a gooblyglop from a dinkis."

"Two rednecks are having sex -""Who's your daddy!! Who's your daddy!!"" -""You are."""

"My child's first name Is going to be look"

"How do you get a jewish girls number? Roll up her sleeve."