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Joke of the Day

"Getting your identity stolen is a nice reminder that at least one person out there has it shittier than you & wants to trade places."

"If I'm going to have to become a communist... Then so be it."

"None, building it is a job for engineers. How many scientists does it take to build a time machine?"

"Why was the middle aged computer sad? He had a floppy disc."

"two men walk into a bar... the other one ducks"

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chic is you."

"(uncouth) A priest and a rabbi are walking by a playground... The priest says ""Let's fuck those kids"" The rabbi says, ""Outta what?"" One of my faves, always makes me chuckle when I think of it"

"There are two kinds of woman who never complain. GIFs and JPGs"

"I used to be addicted to the Hokey-Pokey But then I turned myself around"

"My expertly timed eclipse joke will put all the others in the shade."