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Joke of the Day

"When I hear commercials say ""win a trip for you and six friends"" I start counting to see if I have six friends."

"A guy broke into my apartment last week.. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.. Sick bastard.."

"What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator? A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)"

"In Soviet Russia... ...bar raise you!"

"I bought my son a pet snake and the salesman said ""Be careful those snakes grow up to 20 feet"" I said ""Shut up...snakes don't grow feet!!!!"""

"I asked my friend ""Do you know any other word for a big rock?"" He said ""Boulder?"" I said **""Do you know any other word for a big rock?""**"

"I've got an inferiority complex. But frankly, it's not a very good one."

"Why does Noddy wear a giant red hat with a yellow tinkling bell on the end of it? Because he's a cunt."

"If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their age."

"Fish Pickup Lines: ""Hey, baby. Wanna come over to my place and make caviar?"""