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Joke of the Day

"The Pink Panther made a list of things he had to do, and it was called... To do, to do, to do to do to do, to do, to dooooooo..."

"Graduation speech: I would like to thank Wikipedia, and copy/paste. I'm out bitc$es"

"What's the most confusing compliment to give a woman in her 40's? If you had a daughter, I'd fuck her."

"I've got a friend who is a fat, alcoholic, transvestite. All he does is eat, drink and be Mary!!."

"You don't love me? Don't worry, the first step is denial."

"""How do you know that God isn't a woman?"" Because I'm not a sandwich."

"The best thing about going on a date with a sarcastic person is that no matter what happens they're going to tell you they had a great time."

"Did hipster polar bears like the North Pole... before it was cool?"

"My Uncle When I was a young boy, my Uncle would always tell me ""Always leave them wanting more"" Which is probably why he lost his job in famine relief."

"I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it's for her is to eat it. Apparently"