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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a group of yogurt loving boat enthusiast? A Yacult..."
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"It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist's finger before she stops believing that you're doing it accidentally."
"What's the difference between HP computers and HP in a video game? One of them you want to see a lot less of."
"She said ""you look like trouble""...so I nudged her down the stairs, because I don't like people falling short of their expectations."
"""You are what you eat"" I whisper to myself as I pour my dead dog's ashes into my cat's food bowl"
"Every 7 seconds someone in the world dies. Every 6 seconds, a white girl uploads a Pumpkin Spice latte pic on Instagram."
"'NSFW' Why didn't Mrs. Claus ever have kids? Because Santa always comes down the chimney."
"Why didn't Napoleon get his wish? Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte."
"What's a man's idea of a perfect date? A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack."
"Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young."