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Joke of the Day

"So a guy with his dick in a jar of peanut butter said I was weird for jacking off with a banana peel I told him he's fucking nuts!"

"The worst part about being molested as a kid is People think that you look cute, but in reality it is just afterglow"

"What was Snoop Dogg's ghost arrested for? Possesion."

"Joaquin What kind of name is Joaquin? It's not Russian"

"What do you call the Skunk who wears khaki's and goes to private school? Preppy le Pew"

"""That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. That feels good. I WILL BITE YOU!"" --Cats"

"[job interview] What are your strengths? Me: inventing special occasions. Is that even a *I interrupt him with a happy cereal day song*"

"Guys, you CAN catch AIDS from a toilet seat! If you sit down before the other guy gets up."

"What involves a man and two women, and doesn't even last a minute? A Ronda Rousey fight."

"Three tampons are walking down the street... which one says ""hi"" to you? None of them, they're all stuck up cunts"