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Joke of the Day

"So a guy with his dick in a jar of peanut butter said I was weird for jacking off with a banana peel I told him he's fucking nuts!"

"Two flies are eating a turd. One of them farts, and the other one says ""Dude, gross. I'm eating."""

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free"

"Until you show me in the corporate dress code where it says masks & capes aren't allowed, I must refuse to reveal my identity to the others."

"[commercial] ""I'm tired of fruits that taste good."" Narrator: GRAPEFRUIT"

"What do you call a smiley face if someone uses it that lives in an igloo? An Eskimoji"

"Here in Britain, we've got May & Hammond in the Government now - All we need is Clarkson and we've got Top Gear back again."

"When a woman says, ""We need to talk"", it's no good. Never has a woman said, ""We need to talk"" and followed it up with ""about pillow forts""."

"What did the Banana say to the Vibrator? I don't know why you're shaking, she's going to eat me."

"I keep a knife in my Bible so if someone wants to kill me, I ask to read it & when I get to the 6th Commandment, I stab them in the face."