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Joke of the Day

"Here in Britain, we've got May & Hammond in the Government now - All we need is Clarkson and we've got Top Gear back again."

"This oxygen mask is bullshit. I don't look like oxygen at all."

"Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is"

"What did the horse say when he fell over? ""Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."""

"Why are gay men so well dressed? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing"

"Why is it that when a guy nails a ton of girls, he's called a stud... ...but when he nails a ton of studs, he's in construction?"

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies."

"What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer? You take me for grunted."

"This guy on GMA is thanking God b/c he survived 2 plane crashes. I'm pretty sure ""God"" is trying to kill him."

"My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place"