146641

Joke of the Day

"Here in Britain, we've got May & Hammond in the Government now - All we need is Clarkson and we've got Top Gear back again."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... I only know this because this joke is reposted here every god damn week."

"I don't understand why people say ""Oh it's just walking distance away"" Everything is walking distance if you have the time."

"What's similar about a shy jihad and a bagpipe They only make noise once they've been blown up."

"I was going to tell you a joke about UDP... But I'm not sure if you would get it."

"Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket."

"6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?"

"What do my toaster and I have in common? We both like to be in the same bathtub at the same time."

"Have you heard about the emo pizza? All you do is insult it, and it cuts itself."

"What do you call a vegan wizard? A soyceror."