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Joke of the Day

"""Say your house is burning."" ""That's okay. I got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one."""

"My heart goes out to all those frustrated people who are stuck in Traffic, on their way to the Gym to ride Stationary Bicycles..."

"What do you call a group of spoiled children? The government"

"What's big, huge and hairy? A Goliath bird eating tarantula."

"Original (Dad's) pun: Sticks float. They would."

"It's quaint when a company publishes a fax number on their website's contact page. It's like finding a Walkman at a flea market."

"A lawyer contracts a cold for two hours. What does he have? A brief case."

"curious new Snapchat filter shows exact date and time of your death but refuses to be sent. then you notice: the time says five minutes ago."

"Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine? A: It depends on the age."

"What's the smartest dinosaur? Thesaurus Rex! omg, I crack myself up! ~Skip"