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Joke of the Day

"I was so shocked when my girlfriend called me a lazy piece of shit in Walmart the other day that I almost fell off my motorized scooter."

"a future joke: A Hispanic cop pulls over a white guy... white guy- ""Why not you stop bugging us minorities and go back to gardening"""

"What do you call a porn site for celeb lookalikes? Doppelbangers"

"My friend used the term ""bad ass"" for diarrhea. ""You're badass."" ""I'm... diarrhea?"" ""No I meant you are the shit, man."" ""WHAT???"""

"TRAVEL TIP: When you are alone in a hotel room with two beds, that means one bed is for eating on and one bed is for sleeping on."

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga..? POKER FACE ... BAHAHAHA!!!"

"Why did the nickel jump of the building but the dime did not? Because the dime had more cents."

"What does a Muslim have if they hate their god? An Allahgy"

"Patient: Doctor, Doctor! I've had a terrible accident! Doctor: The restrooms are down the hall on the left."

"Q: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress? A: About fifty pounds."