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Joke of the Day

"A pessimist, optimist and feminist Optimist: The glass is half full Pessimist: The glass is half empty Feminist: The glass is raped"

"I dig. You dig. We dig. They dig. He dig. She dig. Now it's not a very beautiful poem, but it's quite deep."

"""just great, I've lost my house my wife is leaving and my kids hate me how can this day get any worse"" -A dinosaur, 66 million years ago"

"At geography class Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him: - Where's England, Jon? He proudly answers: - Page 83."

"ME [Puts up ""Have u seen my dog?"" posters across town] HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog! M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome"

"*Alcohol kills germs. *Vodka is alcohol. *Flu is germs. *Vodka kills the flu. *You're welcome!"

"A man walks into a bathroom and slips on a turd.. Another man approaches and says ''are you alright mate? I just did that''"

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and a bucket of cow manure? the bucket"

"Twitter provides the technology for my thoughts to be ignored by far more people than ever before."

"How can you teach your child about adversity if you don't leave a diaper unchanged once in a while?"