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Joke of the Day
"My roommate made me a copy of the mail key as if she's ever seen me pay a bill"
Next Joke
"It's never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it's too late."
"I guess you could say Mendeleev's Birthday comes around periodically."
"Of all the lies I tell, ""I was just kidding!"" is my favorite."
"*through a mouthful of Nutella* Oh, yeah, healfy eafing is sufer imfortant to me."
"Knock knock (Palestinian version)... ...who's there? - Ya - Ya who? - Yahudi!"
"I like my women like I like my cider... ... cold and dry ;)"
"How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food? Because he said he loves miso."
"David Bowie died at 69, Alan Rickman died at 69... ... Donald Trump is 69. We are all crossing our fingers."
"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"" is a great quote... ... but it is not the best way to tell your kid that he's adopted."