184242

Joke of the Day

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb YOU DONT KNOW MAN! YOU WERENT THERE!! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE!!!"

"Why does the little mermaid wear seashells? Because the D shells are too big, and the B shells are too small."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aldo ! Aldo who ? Aldo anywhere with you !"

"Why are outdoor workers so in fit? Cause they work out."

"TERMINOTOR: come with me if u want to live ME: ok cool *just sits there* TERMINOTOR: COME WITH ME IF-- ME: ya i got it. im good right here"

"Having your 7 year old son clean the toilet is pretty entertaining. He used Pledge. In other news I just slid off the toilet, into the tub."

"How many Freemasons does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's a secret!"

"My future is so bright I need to stay in my room browsing reddit until nightfall."

"My boss asked me which Game of Thrones house he'd best be placed in... I told him House Lannister because it only takes one hand to go fuck yourself."

"What do Mexican midgets use to cut pizza? Little Caesars"