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Joke of the Day
"I like my men like I like my coffee... White, tepid, and saccharine sweet."
Next Joke
"What do you call a pig in a trailer? Pulled pork!"
"What's a ego maniac's favorite candy? Air heads"
"Q. How do men exercise on the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini."
"What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese"
"Do you know why I pulled you over? ""Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet."" I meant this time ""Oh. No."" Please step out of the oven."
"Boss: OMFG man what happened to ur eye? [cut to me riding a horse into the garage door during medieval role play] ""I ran into a door"""
"If we can afford to have armed guard for our money at the banks, surely we can afford to have armed guards for our kids at schools. Where are your priorities people?"
"What did the cop say to the doughnut as he ate it? Rest in **police**."
"What made the vampire a gentlemen? They would always ask their girlfriend before they came inside."