199032

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese"

"What's the difference between a walrus and a vagina? One has thick whiskers and smells like fish. The others a WALRUS."

"Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer? Because he had been told to ice it."

"I hate to tell patients that they've become physically mute... They're always speechless."

"So after how many speeding tickets am I qualified to be an honorary race car driver?"

"I met a guy who said he could get a great deal on a pillowcase... turns out, it was a sham."

"When Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer naked, it's art. When I do it, I'm drunk and told to leave Home Depot."

"who called it an infinity scarf instead of a scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"I was shocked to find out that the woman I love was a one-night-stand type of girl. So I went to the furniture store and got her another one."

"Those ""Smoking Kills"" stickers on cigarette packs would be more effective saying ""Smoking Kills Puppies with a power drill covered in bees."""