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Joke of the Day

"My dog used to chase after people on bike So I took the bike away from him."

"DOG: [running in circles trying to catch his own tail] SON OF A DOG'S PREGNANT WIFE: *looks up from knitting* Son of a what, David? Say it"

"""Come as you are. As you were. As I want you to be."" ~ Kurt Cobain, confusing party coordinator"

"I have to look up the word innuendo... If you know what I mean ;) Courtesy of Suits"

"Girl:want to have a good time Guy:sure Girl:for you its free"

"Dora the Explorer has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had."

"I'm wearing my big rolled up socks again today and I'm doing so with pride. So all you haters can get in a taxi and chip off."

"Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones."

"The best things in life are free. Like your neighbor's wifi, their morning paper & their liquor cabinet while they're away, for instance."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? What's up my nigga?!"