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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an auto-corrected exclamation of amazement and an act of liking men? One is ducking sick, the other is sucking d..."

"I happily dad joked my fiance While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side. To which I replied, ""At least you won't smell half bad!"""

"I became a proud dad today My son is actually four but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years."

"September just ended... Someone should wake up Green Day."

"If I was a drunk superhero, I'm pretty sure I'd be ""I Love You Man"""

"Any writer can be a ghost writer if you kill them"

"How was copper wire invented? Two Jews found the same penny!"

"What do you call a race where all the runners have no legs? An arms race."

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He was just a little queer."

"Marvel at this joke. What do you call an Asgardian instrument specialist with an attitude problem? A Thor Luthier."