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Joke of the Day
"is a cat supposed to shit more than i shit? asking for a cat that shits more than i shit."
Next Joke
"Well, that's the last time I tell my girlfriend to sit on my face... whilst doing a Sean Connery impersonation."
"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil... Rohypnol."
"In Italy, they call me Olive Oil Its because im extra virgin. :("
"""More than 1 way to skin a cat"" - ""Killing 2 birds with 1 stone"" - Running like a chicken with its head cut off"" -- who ARE we???"
"Unknown numbers calling and leaving 3 seconds of silence as a voicemail is the greatest unsolved mystery of my life."
"Where does the Empire buy their robes? The Darth Mall!"
"The other day I tell my wife, ""when I look into the mirror I only see an old fat man, I need you to make me feel better about myself."" She says ""you have perfect eyesight."" - Norm MacDonald"
"Some girls put more effort into naming their Facebook photo albums than I put into my life."
"Someone told me the first person you look at after something funny happens is the person you like the most... Good thing I always keep a mirror with me"