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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes, I wake up grumpy... But usually I let him sleep."

"Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam? He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics."

"Why were George and Lennie sad? (Of mice and men joke) Because they ran out of Weed :D"

"Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops? So they can tell if they are going to work or going home while on the bus."

"i don't know how to flirt so i am just going to stare at you until you marry me"

"Prom night for my 17 year old daughter, or as I like to call it, 'Dad spends the evening sharpening his axe' night."

"You know at first, I didn't like the mold I found on my skin. But then it started to grow on me."

"I actually loved the Twilight: Eclipse movie until I realized I was actually in an alley drunk watching two cats fight over a dead mouse."

"A police officer walks into a bar. He shoots it and claims self defense."

"What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common? If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years."