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Joke of the Day
"My dad had the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo."
Next Joke
"*National Spelling Bee Final - Spell cyclops. - Use in a sentence. - Cyclops have one eye. *winks at audience - C-E-Y-E-C-L-O-P-S."
"Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting? Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine."
"""knock knock."", ""Who's there?"", ""Allah"", ""allah who?"" ""ALLAHU AKBARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!"""
"I put $1 aside every time my girlfriend has sex with me, and that's how much I'll spend for her birthday present So far I'm getting one fancy-ass glove."
"Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely."
"I prefer regular taxis to Uber in NYC cause the driver and I can both treat each other like shit without worrying about getting a bad grade"
"Why do weathermen name hurricanes after women? Because when they come they're wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them."
"Why does Starbux call it an Oprah chai? Does it taste like Gayle?"
"Why was the new Mexican sad? He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad? All his friends are dead."