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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to read on the train but it's hard because people keep applauding & screaming ""You are the train's smartest boy!"" at me"

Next Joke
 
"How to Properly Jump a Car Attach a cable to the red positive lead, then beat the negative lead for being black."
"What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast? Marma'lady ^tip"
"Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in."
"How long does it take for an African mom to shit? 9 months..."
"If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!"
"I forgot my U-bend was blocked when I went to the toilet... I soon remembered, when it all came flooding back."
"Two guys are talking: (1) - I've bought a tour to my mother-in-law. (2) - Your mother-in-law???!!! (1) - Why not to Bagdad."
"People get so weird when I step on the gym scale behind them, naked."
"LPT: To clean all your clothes on laundry day Do laundry naked"