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Joke of the Day

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve vegetables!"" The mushroom responds, ""But I'm a fungi!!"""

"119 years ago today a Canadian cargo vessel sank off the coast of New York, her cargo 50,000 cases of mayonnaise. And that's why we celebrate Sinko de Mayo"

"Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep."

"Everyone is an atheist until you zip your fly up too quick Then its all Lord Jesus please help"

"I'm not slurring, I'm speaking in cursive."

"What's the difference between a walrus and a lesbian? One smells like fish and has a mustache, and the other is a walrus."

"4 stages of life 1. You believe in Santa 2. You don t believe in Santa 3. You are Santa 4. You look like Santa"

"I still use the word ""dude"". I don't give a dude. I don't use it right, but I still dude it."

"Son, your chimpanzee girlfriend is tearing this family apart."

"Why did H blow itself up? Because G had."