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Joke of the Day
"I viewed a house with period features My wife hates it when I call her that"
Next Joke
"TIL Humans eat more bananas than monkeys. Human almost never eat monkeys at all."
"""I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!"" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now."
"I would never write a joke in multiple choice form... Because A) person who thinks that it would B) funny should go C) a psychiatrist."
"Boss: Why weren't you at work last week? Me: Why are you living in the past?"
"At least you'll be able to watch Jeremy Clarkson on Dave for the next 12 years."
"How are men like noodles? They are always in hot water they lack taste and they need dough."
"*dad bursts into my room and puts me in a headlock* ""Why didn't you 'Like' the Grumpy Cat meme I posted on Facebook, you son of a bitch?"""
"What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle? A Wienerschnitzel."
"If by free spirits you mean an open bar, then yes I love free spirits."