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Joke of the Day

"My friend said he was worried he's losing his hair I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head"

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"Why couldn't cinderella play soccer? She always ran away from the ball"
"This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster."
"My friend told me a joke about a clock last week and today I finally got it... It's about time."
"Wife: he's always confusing sayings... Therapist: what if you're just misinterpreting him? Me: oooh, check you out playing devil's avocado"
"My arm is asleep. Let's draw mustaches on it."
"One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected...BAAM!!! I'll have sex with their boyfriends"
"I'm expended, I'm expensive, And I'm expanded. ... Ijkwim."
"FUNNY SEX JOKES ;) Do you like dragons? Because i'll be dragon my balls all over your face"
"A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""We don't serve food here."""