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Joke of the Day

"As a Jew, I refuse to enter any steam room or sauna until I've seen other people come out."

"[dinner party] GUEST: so what are your thoughts on euthanasia? ME: [mouth full of mashed potatoes] I am against youths everywhere."

"Has anyone here ever tried Ethiopian food? They haven't either."

"What's better at math than you a retarded Asian April fooly! Gotcha Burn April fooly"

"""Do you want to see a nice clock?"" I said, lowering my trousers, ""That's not a clock!"" She exclaimed when she saw my dick... It will be when you put two hands and a face on it!"

"The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was"

"I read that 1 in 5 women suffer from mental illness so I guess that means the other 4 must enjoy it."

"What do you call Pegasus farts? Horse power."

"Happy penis to Sigmund Freud. What? No, I'm pretty sure I said ""birthday."""

"You can never trust someone from Chernobyl. Most of them are two-faced."