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Joke of the Day

"""Do you want to see a nice clock?"" I said, lowering my trousers, ""That's not a clock!"" She exclaimed when she saw my dick... It will be when you put two hands and a face on it!"

"So you're all Obama fans now? Name 3 of his albums."

"Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together."

"Pharmacists should stuff every third prescription bottle with one of those snakes that pops out at you... cuz laughter is the best medicine."

"I decided to start growing a beard. I didn't like it at first but it's starting to grow on me."

"To the 20 year old girl who wrote an essay claiming she is too pretty to be allowed to lead a normal life:Same."

"Pedophiles lobby for slower speed limits at school zones"

"A Higgs boson walks into a bar... ...the barman doesn't understand."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He lay awake in bed all night, wondering if there was really a dog."

"I received the oddest dollar bill as change. When I looked closely, I noticed that George Washington was wearing face-paint, a wig, and round, red nose. It was obviously a clownterfeit."