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Joke of the Day

"You can never trust someone from Chernobyl. Most of them are two-faced."

"Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off"

"""Hey, let's get the guys that built the Obamacare website to update our app!"" - Twitter"

"These coffee flavored rice cakes are delicious, but chewy. [eats another coaster]"

"Instead of a wallet, I always keep my money in an envelope that says ""For the orphans"" so people will feel terrible if I'm ever murdered."

"What was Hitler's favourite song? Knocking on ovens door"

"FRIEND: What's your type? ME: In guys or in blood?"

"Hahaha this stupid baby on the bus thinks they can cry louder than me"

"*Soccer Commentator* 'Adopted Children F.C. are having a great season, they might even make the playoffs this year if they can sort out their weakest position.' 'Nobody wants to be left back!'"

"I tried to be gay once.. But I couldn't fit in."