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Joke of the Day

"If resting on one's laurels is like sitting on your butt and a ""hardy"" is a hard-on... Does that mean that the combination of Laurel and Hardy makes Dickbutt?"

"If I'm guilty of anything it's only of loving too much, insider trading, public indecency, treason, arson, jaywalking, piracy & cannibalism."

"Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers' legs. Turns out he's lack toes intolerant."

"Which plant talks the most crap? Shiitake mushrooms."

"if anne hathaway doesnt say anne hatharrived every time she walks into a room she's wasting a great opportunity"

"Its O.K. to laugh during sex ... just don't point !"

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? One gets a badge for lighting stuff on fire, while the other gets a badge for being lit on fire."

"fire the chauffeur! Wife: ""I'm gonna fire our chauffeur!!! He's such a pathetic driver, this is the third time he almost got me killed...."" Husband: ""Dear, lets give him another chance."""

"What the difference between /r/gonewild and /r/jokes? Not all the posts on /r/gonewild are about pussy, anal sex, blowjobs, and pedophilia. Seriously, /r/jokes, get your shit together"

"What is a rift valley? Valleys that have fallen out after an argument."